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“Can I Please Speak To The Manager”
Nico has been a Wayland Warrior since the beginning and is actually responsible for coining the term. It feels natural that my first video in the “Can I Speak To The Manager” series begins with her.
After losing her mom to death, ending a relationship with the father of her child, birthing a new baby, and being quarantined, Nico felt like she was missing everything, especially music and her mom.
Here is my response:
Out of everything you said, I can tell that you feel like you’re missing a lot.
You’re missing friends
You’re missing work
You’re missing having things to do
You’re missing having an only child
You’re missing out with your newborn child
You’re missing music
& You’re missing your mom.
But you’re not missing ANYTHING
You’re whole and perfect and complete exactly as you are
You ARE the music
You ARE your mom
When a CD gets skips, we get mad at the CD
But it’s not the CD’s fault, it’s just letting us know that you dropped it, its just giving us feedback
Just like when a microphone hurts our ears at a concert with feedback
It’s not the microphone’s fault, it’s just letting us know we got too close to it
Your body, your musical instrument is giving you the same feedback
When you had a herniated disc and when you couldn’t walk
Your body wasn’t failing you
It was communicating with you that you needed more support
And you needed to take a step forward
If you don’t check the mic during soundcheck
Or check in with your body each day, these frequencies just get louder and louder and they change in tune from a subtle vibration to a blown out speaker
You are the music
You’re the instrument and the lead singer
You’re coughing as you tell me your story because you haven’t warmed up your vocal chords
You haven’t told you story
You haven’t expressed what wants to come out
That energy, those frequencies, that song within you is static like AM radio
When you warm up, you don’t force out every word at your highest range right away or you’ll blow out your chords
You start with just a few words and notes at a time until it all flows out melodically
Because you gave yourself a second to pause
Music is the space between notes remember
You aren’t missing music, you are the music, and your whole life is the concert
You are the instrument, the leader singer, sometimes you’re the manager and you have to get up early and make the appointments, sometimes you’re the stage manager and have to clean the house, its all you
We love music and we love concerts because they bring us right into the present moment and that moment feels like forever, nothing else exists
That’s why we go numb when it comes to feeling really big feelings, because when we’re supposed to feel them, that present moment feels like forever, and nothing else except that pain exists
But the show doesn’t last forever and neither does the pain,if you show up would feel it
You might need a setlysst today that lets you feel the grief, the anger, the frustration. You might need a setlysst that cheers you up. You don’t need to count down the days to Friday night, it can be Friday night right now. You have the power of the present moment.
You are the music
You are your mom.
There’s a scene in the lion king when Simba meets Rafiki
And he says “you knew my dad, he died.”
And Rafiki says, wrong, he’s alive
He brings him to the water and sees Mufasa
He tells him to remember who you are
YOU ARE YOUR MOM
You are taking her place in the circle of life
She is within you always
You are the mom
You are the mother
YOU ARE THE LION
Be The Lion
Use your voice, tell your story,
Be silent enough to hunt for what your body needs next
Be the lion to your two cubs
Be the lion to your pride
BE THE LION
I see you and I love you. I’m always lysstening.